3 ఈడియట్స్ కాదు సాఫ్టువేరు ఇంజినీర్స్ : రాంబాబు ఇంటర్వివ్

పేరుకు ఇస్త్రీ కొట్టే అయినా ఆ ఏరియా లో రాజన్న తెలియని సాఫ్టు వేరు ఇంజినీరు వుండడు.జాబ్ ఇంటర్వివ్ అయినా పెళ్ళి ఇంటర్వివ్ అయినా రాజన్నకు తెలియాల్సిందే.ఆయన కుక్క పేరు ఫేస్ బుక్.వీది కుక్కకి వింత పేరు ఏంటని అడిగితే,ట్రెండుకి తగ్గటే వుండాలి పేర్లు అయినా షేర్లు అయినా అనేవాడు.ఇక మన ముగ్గురు సాఫ్టు వేరు ఇంజినీర్ల విషయానికి వస్తే,ఇంకా అదే చిన్న కంపెనీలో పనిచేస్తూ వారానికి మూడు ఇంటర్వివ్ లు ఆరు పార్టీలతో లాక్కొస్తున్నారు.

రాంబాబు నలబై ఏడో ఇంటర్వివ్ తర్వాత...

రాజన్న: నవ్వుతూ,ఎం రాంబాబు మల్లీ పొయ్యినట్టుంది ఇంటర్వివ్.

రాంబాబు: ఒక ఇంటర్వివ్ అంటే ఎంత పెద్ద విషయమో తెలుసా నీకు?

రాజన్న: ఎముంది ఇస్త్రి బట్టలు తగిలించామ ,ఆటో ఎక్కామా.

బాల: ఇంతకీ ఏమయింది?

రాంబాబు: ఎప్పట్లా కాకుండా ఇసారి నలుగురు - వో లీడు,వో ఆర్కిటెక్టు,మేనేజెరు ,డైరక్టరు ఎదురుగ్గా కూర్చున్నరు.నా రేంజు పెరిగిందేమో అనుకుని, మొదట నా గురించి చెప్పాను .

బాల: అక్కడ దొబ్బుంటుంది

రాంబాబు: లేదు నా పని గురించి అడిగారు.రాం గోపాల్ వర్మ నాగర్జున కి శివా సినిమా న్యారేట్ చేసినట్టు ,బాలయ్యకు విజయేంద్ర వర్మా సినిమా కధ చెప్పినట్టు,జాని సినిమా గురించి పవన్ కల్యాన్ తనలో తనే మాట్లాడుకున్నట్టు ,ఇంతక ముందు ఎప్పుడు కని విని ఎరుగని రీతి లో వివరించాను.

అవినాష్: సాఫ్ట్ వేరు గురించి అడిగితే సినిమా కధలు చెప్పావ.ఇంకేముంది తెర పడీందా.

రాంబాబు: లేదు, వాల్లూ నాకు వో స్పీల్ బర్గ్ సినిమా కధ చెప్పారు.నేను న్యరేటు చేసిన ఫేకు ప్రాజెక్టు వాల్లు అయిదు సంవస్తరాల నుంచి రెక్కలు ముక్కలు చేసుకొని ఇల్లు, పెళ్ళి వదిలేసి మరీ డెవలప్ చేసారంట.ఆ మేనేజర్ కు అయితే ఏడుపు ఒక్కటే తక్కువ.

రాజన్న: తర్వాత?

రాంబాబు: బాలా వైపు కోపంగా చూస్తూ, నాలాంటి ఫేక్ బ్యాచ్ ఇంకా ఎంతమంది వున్నారో, అందరినీ వెంటనే ప్రాజెక్టు తీసేయమన్నారు.భవిషెత్తులో ఇలా రెజుమే కనపడితే పోలీసులకి పట్టిస్తామని మర్యాద పూర్వకంగా చెప్పారు.

అవినాష్: మరి తీసేసావా ప్రాజెక్ట్టు?

రాంబాబు: లేదు మర్చేసా.వాల్లది బ్యాంకుకి అయితే నాది మిలిటరీకి.ఎక్కువ చేస్తే నెనే కేసు పెడతా.ఇదంతా నాకు బాధ అనిపించలేదు కాని వెనకొచ్చి ఆటో దిగి ఆఫిసు లోకి వెలుతుంటే మా సి.ఇ.వో ఎదురొచ్చి పిచ్చ బూతులు తిట్టాడు.

రాజన్న: అయానకి ఎలా తెలిసింది.

రాంబాబు: నేను ఎప్పుడయిన్న ఇలా ఫార్మల్ గా రెడీ అయ్యి మా ఆఫీసుకి వెల్లడం చూసావ?

రాంబాబు: పకన్నే నిలొచొని తొకాడిస్తున్న ఫేస్ బుక్ కి బిస్కెట్టు వేస్తూ,రాజన్న నీకో విషయం తెలుసా,ఈ బెంగులూరు లో గాల్లోకి రాయి వేస్తే అది వో సాఫ్టు వేరు ఇంజినీరు పైనో, కుక్క పైనో పడుతుంది.అంత మంది ఇంజినీర్లు ,ప్రతి వీధికి అన్ని కుక్కలు.

The guy who married his GPS

Abhimanyu or as his frieds call him Abhi is a 5 foot 4 inch tall(he thinks so) decent looking guy. He recently finished his masters in electrical engineering from UPenn and works as a Game Developer in Newark,Delaware.As a kid he hated chocolates and ate chalk pieces and now he loves long drives but hates technology. So he is a close friend of Google Maps and no relative to IPhones.Everytime he drives to Jersey he ends up in Time Square and on his way back he ends up half way to the White House. Misses destinations just by a few 100 miles. He strictly used to follow his three step KBC (Indian Version of the Millionaire) philosophy in this order.

50-50 - If you miss an exit, takes the next one and instead of heading back like everyone else just keeps going and you will reach your destination sooner or later.

Ask the Audience - People at the Gas Stations and Service Areas.

Phone a friend - And finally call our friends who have nothing to do on weekends and desperately waiting for our phone call to get on to the internet and navigate us out from where we are to where we should be.

But never become a slave to the technology.

It is this philosophy and determination that helped him conquer the remotest places on the east coast which were tough to find on Google maps. Things were very similar on the personal front as he rejected a few and many have rejected him during the wedding date and interview process. Some failed at the technical (Girl) and some in the HR (Girls Family) with both face to face and telephonic interviews. His requirements were simple(He thinks so).

1) If i speak rashly in anger she should not complain.

2) If i drank too much she can warn me but should never ask to quit.

3) She should be good at singing and should sing all my favorite songs.

4) When i am watching TV she should not switch the channels.

While some felt those were crazy requirements, some felt he was. Colleagues gossiped - "He was soft outside and psycho inside”. Having enough of Abhi and not wanting him to bug them on the weekends for directions, Kelly one of his colleagues gifted him her old GPS on his thirty first birthday. He rarely missed an exit and never visited New York or Washington DC again and everyone was relieved.

As months passed by, with confidence on one beautiful sunny day Abhi drove his friends visiting from Texas to Niagara Falls. Racing through the scenic locations as the American Falls was closing in they were all excited to see the falls for the first time.Abhi hit the brakes so hard that Jay sitting in the back seat came flying in between the two front seats and crashed on to the dashboard so hard that all the six Disks in the CD player ejected one after the other.Infront of them was a huge wall and the GPS proclaimed - "You Have Arrived". Embarrased, Abhi had to fall back to the phone a fiend option. He later got to know that the maps on his used GPS were not up to date and got them updated. On the other hand he received a confirmation from the wedding vendors association that the last ship has just left and he need not worry about the interviews and getting married anymore.

A year faded by in desperation - Late night after a very long work day and a frustrating phone call with parents Abhi switched on his GPS and was amazed to find the "Take Me Home" option. Relieved he hit the button and cruised through. After an hour he realized that it is taking more than the usual which is fifteen minutes to reach home. It was taking him to Kelly’s house and not his as he never updated the home address nor is the GPS Artificially Intelligent. Cursing himself he applied the brakes and made a immediate U turn .After half a mile he could see light coming in the opposite direction. Strangely the cars on the other side of the road were driving in the same direction as Abhi.As he drove a little further the light grew bigger. And within a few seconds shocked and stunned he pulled on to the emergency lane as a truck honking in the opposite direction missed him by inches. The U turn he made was an exit out of the highway and he was heading against the traffic. Petrified,he stayed on the shoulder for the next one hour and that near death experience triggered some life changing thoughts on his mind. He slowly reached home and ordered for the best of the Voice Enabled GPS in the market.

1) As he fell in love with its female voice-On his command, it used to take him where ever he wants and never complained. It knew the speed limits on every highway and used to warn him when he is over the limit.

2) Using its inbuilt Blood Alcohol Content Analyzer it  used Abhis breath to check and warn if he is over drunk.

Abhi named her Angelina. He was furious if someone referred to it as 'it' and not as her or Angelina.

3) As she used to play all the songs from his favorite playlist in the car, he carried her to his desk and made her watch him coding.

4)At home he used to make her sit next to him on the couch while watching TV and talk all night as she never asked him to change the channel.

Soon he was convinced that she meets all his soul-mate criteria. On a rainy afternoon he took her to her favorite restaurant and after an intimate chat, with great difficulty he proposed her. And like with everything else she dint say no.

Rejoiced he called his parents and informed them that he is getting married to Angelina. They thought that it was some American at work. That weekend he flew to Vegas with his bride and got married. After his royal bachelor party, it took his friends months and family years to get out of the hangover .But they were happy as they knew no human would fit in to his requirements.

Abhi and Angi lived happily ever after!

Simhapuri Times:I am not that type,Leave me alone!

"The events depicted in this story are fictitious. Any similarity to any person living or dead is merely coincidental."


Satya is a 6 foot fair and handsome guy who has cleared his ICAI exam for accountants an year ago with a good score and has secured a highly paid job at a top notch MNC in Hyderabad which does tax handling for clients all over India.Along with his yearly bonus he also recently got married to his one and only girl friend Divya.

That evening as they plan to go watch a romantic movie , Satya receives a call on his cell.As he ends the call looking at his depressed face, Divya goes in to the bed room and comes out with a small briefcase.She is not leaving him but - Like a first aid kit in the RTC bus ,like an ambulance with a ventilator ready to pick up a patient - that briefcase has a imported shaving kit ,a 3 piece suit,tooth brush/paste,comb,a India Today and two other very important costumes. It is Satyas travel kit and today he has to go fix tax accounts/returns for a leading Editorial - Simhapuri Times.With top notch salaries comes working late hours and travel.Apologizing to Divya and kissing her good bye, Satya rushes to catch the Simhapuri express at 9 PM.Its a 10 hour Train journey to Simhapuri.

The next morning,dressed up in his 3 piece suit he meets the accountants at Simhapuri Times.Simapuri Times is a 10 acre campus with huge glass buildings and a lot of ongoing renovation/construction work.To one corner next to the archival section is the accounting department.Right next to it is a small chamber seperated by a glass wall.In that chamber are two guys and girl working busily as if they are controlling the entire Simhapuri Times operations.As Satya enters the accounting room one of those two guys in the other chamber with short hair  keeps staring at Satya seriously.Not paying much attention Satya quickly gets to work remembering Divya and to finish up early and return.

After lunch as he walks in to the kitchen for some coffee.,he runs in to the same serious guy who stares at him top to bottom and says - "nice hair style".Feeling weird Satya quickly walks out for a fag and calls Divya.As he turns back with his  cell phone in one hand he sees the same guy staring at him from the window and smiling.Irritated Satya hangs up the call ,picks up a small iron rod  next to the construction area and get back to work.He keeps the rod in his briefcase and turns back to find that the guy is still staring at him.He quickly finishes his work and walks out to realize that the guy is following him hiding something in his hand.

As Satya tries to run, the guy runs faster.As he gets closer,Satya removes the rod from his suitcase and holds the guy by his collar and pushes him towards the wall and shouts-"What the hell are you doing,I am married and i am not that type, leave me alone!".The guy holds Satyas hand and shows him the paper he has in the other hand.

Shocked and Embarrassed- Satya drops the rod and says sorry and thanks in a low voice.He says sorry and thanks one more time.Looking at his caricature he walks out lighting a cigarette and immediately calls Divya to share the entire experience.He later learns that that guy was an intern cartoonist as Simhapuri Times and that Caricature needs a lot of observation of features and working on the proportions.And that it also needs observing the actions and reactions.

Simhapuri Stories : The Rich Beggar

Once up on a time while you read this story, on the banks of the sacred river penna is the beautiful city of Simhapuri.

Like every other day Venkatesh is waiting at the Nippo factory bus-stop to catch the 9 O Clock bus to work.Like every other government initiative the bus-stop that was constructed a few months back soon turned in to a home for the beggars.And the buses usually stop 10 or 15 feet away from the bus-stop.Leaning on his back next to one of the the bus-stops pillars looking at Venkatesh was a very old man in his torn/patched up light brownish clothes.Venkatesh never payed much attention to him but has first seen this old man and four other beggars in this bus-stop couple of months ago.The old man normally stays at the busstop while the other four beggers collect waste cans/botlles/paper from garbage and sell them for their living.

Venkatesh who works as a clerk at the municipal office has spent half of his life and money in helping others and today he is in need of two lakhs rupees to send his daughter to the medical school.Venkateshs mind is filled with sadness as none of his friends or relatives came forward to help him ,instead blamed him for his situation.He is left with no other option than selling his house.

Suddenly the old beggar looking at Venkatesh said -Son, Catch the train that leaves to Chennai from platform number 3 at 10AM .Catch the 11 C bus from the station.Get down at Guindy.Walk down to the Madras Race Club .At the betting counter,do a Straight bet of 5000 rs on horse number 4 for the race that starts at 3 PM.

Venkatesh first thought that the beggar has gone mad .After sometime he thought - may be the beggar was once a gambler and lost all his property while betting on horse races.The beggar says - If you are thinking that i am a mad beggar talking randomly, you are wrong.It is by your karma that made you stand here and time has come for you to cherish all that good you have packed for your self.It will be more money than you need to send your daughter to the medical school.

After a brief shock he runs to the ATM  and then catches auto and makes it just on time for the Chennai passenger train.It is a three hour travel to Chennai.Venkatesh still can not believe that he is doing all this listening to the words of a beggar.He catches the bus to Guindy.

There are not many people in the race course.Venkatesh saw a  man in his fifties wearing a cricket cap,eyes covered with goggles and holding a walking stick in one hand and a cigar in the other a few seats away .Next to him standing were a couple of security personnel.At 3 PM as the jockeys take off Venkatesh holds on tight to his seat and closes his eyes forgetting about everything around him and he sees a vision of the old man and his words.Half way through the race he opens his eyes to see horse number 4 in third place.Venkatesh closes his eyes again praying.As they approach the finish line Venkatesh opens his eyes and looks at the TV monitors.Shocked/Thrilled , with out uttering an other word he walks toward the prize money collection counter.

The guy in goggles was Sundhar Pandiyan , the rubber business tycoons in Tamil Nadu.Horse racing is one of his gambling habits and when he remembers that once every 3 or 4 months he throws a few lakh rupees which today is forty,i.e four million rupees.

Venkatesh rents a taxi and rushes  straight to Simhapuri and to the Nippo factory bus-stop only to see that there is a traffic jam for miles on either sides of the road.From the crowd outside he hears that there is a swamy in the Nippo factory bus-stop whose predictions came true and few  were saved from death and a few turned rich overnight.As Venkatesh makes his way through the crowd he finds those four beggars standing on the four sides of the busstop blocking people .Next to them is an other layer of security - police.Standing in a queue are the richest of the rich jewelers,politicians waiting for the old beggars call.

Venkatesh goes home happy and later through TV comes to know that the saint was born in Bihar and left to the Himalayas at a very young age and no one knows how old he is now and those four beggars serving him are his disciples.

As long as we run for money it stays away from us and when we think we are happy with what we have and stop worrying  about it, it will run to us and we will be the happiest person on this planet.We can see this today with the richest of ministers and business men surrounding the sanyaasis who gave up everything and are not interested in any of the worldly pleasures.

One Step:I had control of

"The events depicted in this story are fictitious. Any similarity to any person living or dead is merely coincidental."
 
Moms dream ,Dads Salary, Bank Loan ,My Goal and here i am in Los Angele's far from home and friends.Its Friday evening and brothers will be back from work anytime.They are not what you think they are,but my roommates and i call them brothers as they have landed in country before me and  have cars and a place to live.And that is the only reason i call them so.Here is what i got to know about their hobbies in this 2 months.

Sourav does not smoke just drinks.According to him it takes a lot of practice.

Srikanth-Only Whiskey,just half bottle a day.

Senior most Silesh Bro: His goal in life is to taste beer from across the world and he has already collected 23 different bottles.

And the common good habit they have is gambling.They go to Vegas every friday and they discuss their experiences/adventures the entire next week.There is nothing i hide from mom and that helped me stay away from all that till now.But today they wanted me to go with them and just watch .Nothing else but watch.

Caesers Palace Casino 10:30 PM Friday


They have started with dice,poker and have settled down with roulette.Unlike slot machines the drinks are free as long as you play a table game.While one of them plays other two gulp and they take turns.The total loss so far is 600$.Sourav asked me to hold on to the chips and headed towards the restroom.


Its time for the next roll and as sourav dint return i had to be his proxy.The stakes are high and i hate gambling,but Srikanth made me bet and i choose lucky number 7.The dealer spins.The ball fell right in to slot 7 and the wheel stopped.

As Sourav returns Silesh told him that i have won 400$.They wanted me to share the happiness with  a shot which according to them has no alcohol in it.I resisted but dint stop.They told me to ,throw my head back and try to swallow all of the drink in one gulp. After you have taken the shot, bite the lime.

My throat is burning and my head is spinning faster than the roulette wheel and for a few minutes i could barely see anything.As i recovered - for the next few hours i had drinks and acted as a proxy for them again and again.

5 AM Saturday - Gentle Mans Club

I dont know how i have got here.Filled with smoke and smell of drinks ,colorful lights rotating,dollar bills flying and girls - blurred out ,i can see things partially but i dont see bros.My heart is burning and have been drinking water for the last 1 hour.

6AM Saturday

Moms wake up call and for the first time in my life-I had to lie to her.Shame filled my heart and tears my eyes.Bros returned  talking loudly about the girls in the background.Sourav looked at me and said ,he wants to take it to the next level.I stood up and slapped him shouting I want to go home.I want to go home!.

3 PM Saturday

I have waited for them to wake up and get out of their hangover.

Brothers,

You know what went wrong - its not going to Vegas,not gambling,neither drinking nor the gentlemans club but compromising and living with people like you.That is the only step i had control of.You believe what you live with is heaven but you are wrong - It is hell and you will not find the difference even when you die.Take Care.Good Bye!

Rebirth - Gack Gack Gaaaack!

"The events depicted in this story are fictitious. Any similarity to any person living or dead is merely coincidental."

My heart beat goes up and so does my blood pressure out of anger.Swami,even when i do my best to be good to people they tend to talk rude .Their words are like bullets from a double barrel gun.If i stop talking to them they talk bad about me behind my back.Its making enemies and my relations and health are souring.Can you please either change them or change me so that i am not bothered from their actions any more or change me to be like them.Swamiji with a smile on his face ,i can neither change them nor you ,it is from our actions and thoughts what we are today and what we will be tomorrow.But i can show you what will be the consequences in this and the next lives of those if that makes you happy.Put on these glasses when ever you think there is a chance of you getting angry from their behavior.

The next morning Shamus manager took out anger on his boss on Shamu and in the evening as his nonsensical buddies Sanjay,Mani approach him Shamu puts his magical glasses on.He sees a bright white light flashing and immediately his brain goes blank with out any thoughts and he starts floating in the air as if he has reached eternity.

As the sun rises from behind the hills,the buffaloes make their way for their morning graze polluting the village roads and filling the air with dust.Out of that dust - filling it with smoke,in the opposite direction comes Khaleel on his scooter ,his face could be seen only in parts as the monkey cap saves him from the dew and the cold winter morning breeze.But there is nothing to stop the cold wind from killing the half dead chickens in the cage hanging on the carriage of Khaleels scooter.Everyone can hear their gack! gack! gack! gack! gaaaaacks, but no one cares.They have no clue that they are on their way to the buthers table but they can sense that something real bad is going to happen to them.As Shamu looks through the cage, crushed to on end by its colleagues,its right wing is struck in the left mesh of the cage.As it flaps its right wing its neck and head hanging out of the small opening at the bottom of the cage and swinging like a pedulum and its beak close to the road.As Shamu adjusts his glasses and looks closer he sees the letters S A N J A Y on its wings and right next to him is MANI in his hennie incarnation.

A smile on Shamus face acknowledging the pain and fear in Mani and Sanjays hearts .

Looking at the speed breaker ahead Sanjay and Mani as their feathers fall off ,try to push themselves in to the cage but fails and goes further down close to the ground gack! gack! gaaaak!.Out of the thick dust comes a tractor racing towards Khaleel and he pulls of the road and away from the speed breaker.Sanjay and Mani breath a sigh of relief. From under the tractors back tire a stone comes flying on to the cage and hits the hen next to Mani and it dies.They look at each other and gack for a while every-hen goes silent with out any hope for anything better.

Mastan the butcher grabs the cage from the scooter and throws it on the top of an empty cage placed on the big lorry tire and all the livestock go gaaaaaaack!.Mastan then lifts the opening on the top of the cage and tries to grab the chicken on the top.As they try to escape frustrating him ,he grabs hold of sanjays claw and pulls him out as he gacks and flutters his wings desperately.Holding Sanjay by the neck in one hand and placing him on the table ,he grabs his knife and gets ready in his execution position.In the cage Manis heart beats like a Selva Manis drum with his half opened eye he looks at Sanjay who is screaming his last gacks.Just at that very moment Mastan stares at the left overs and the dog which is stealing them. He drops Sanjay back in the cage and grabs the broom stick and throws it at the dog,which hits it right on the back.The dog quacks and runs away . Shamu sees the letters M A N A G E R on the dogs back.

 Shamu takes off his glasses and walks away laughing as his buddies look at him with their mouths wide open.After a few days they stop bothering him as he sees them as pigs hanging in between trees with their legs tied from both ends,deer escaping from a cheetha and shot by a hunter etc etc and laughs away to make the best out of his human existence.


Nani

Lord Hanuma in US Embassy

Just a satire meant for fun ....

Alternately switching between Hanumas Experience With Lanka Devi and the US Visitor Visa experience....

10000 BC(Roughly)

Lord hanuma in search of sita devi has reached the shores of lanka and prospective US visitors in the quest of visa have reached the US Embassy.

That Hanuma, best among monkeys, the intellectual son of Vayu, one with great might, stood on the mountain called Lamba with its high peaks equaling a high cloud, gathered courage and entered at night the city of Lanka ruled by Ravana and filled with beautiful forests and places of water such as lakes.

Propective Visitors:

It was big line outside consular office, we directly went near gate and showed my appointment letter to security, he asked us to go inside.

10000 BC

Thereafter, the guardian of that city, in her own form, saw Hanuma, the best among monkeys and the mighty one, entering. Seeing that best among monkeys Hanuma there, that Lanka ruled by Ravana, rose up herself with a horrific appearance of face an eyes. She stood in front of the best among Vanaras Hanuma. She made a great sound and spoke to Hanuma thus.

Propective Visitors:

After paying the fee and waiting for a few mins in the queue we were in front of the consulate officer.


10000 BC

"O one who lives in gardens! Who are you? For what reason did you come here? As long as your lives are sustained, tell me the truth here before that. It is indeed not possible for you to enter this city of Lanka which is protected by Ravana's forces and strongly guarded all around."

Consulate Officer:

who is inviting you?

who is sponsoring you?

Why are you going?



10000 BC

Thereafter the mighty Hanuma spoke to Lanka standing in front of her as follows..


O one with ugly eyes! Who are you? O horrible one! Stopping me, for what reason are you threatening me? ."I should like to see the city of Lanka with its palaces, defensive walls and archways. I came here for that reason.It is filled with lovely assembly halls, with sounds of Krauncha birds and peacocks, served by royal swans, looking as though flying toward the sky, with auspicious houses resounding everywhere. I am very curious to see them. My arrival here is indeed to see Lanka's gardens, parks, forests and important houses all over."

Propective Visitors:

Wish we could talk like hanuma.Instead we answered...

Our son is inviting us.

He is sponsoring us.

America is such a beautiful country.It has so many wonderful places like Niagara Falls,Grand Canyon,Disney Land,Hollywood Studios.We are going to see all of them.We are also going to visit NY and see the statue of liberty.

10000 BC

Listening to Hanuma's words, Lanka with the ability to assume desired form, spoke harsh words stronger than before. "O lowly Vanara with an evil mind! It is not possible for you to see this city ruled by king of rakshasas, without first defeating me."

Officer:

How much do you earn?

How much worth of properties do you have?

10000 BC

Then that tiger among Vanaras Hanuma spoke to that demon: "O auspicious one! After seeing this city I will return back again to where I came from."

Propective Visitors:

I am a government employee.I own a house in hyderabad and i have some agricultural fields back home.Here are the documents.

How many children do you have?

All i have is one ( now you better give me the visa as i dont have an other option)

10000 BC

Thereafter that Lanka made a great sound causing terror and hit Hanuma, the best among Vanaras, with her palm quickly. Then that tiger among Vanaras, the powerful son of Vayu, being hit powerfully by Lanka made a great sound. Hanuma became dizzy with anger and folded his fingers of left hand. He then hit her with His fist. "She is a woman" - thinking thus He did not show much anger by Himself. That demon fell on land immediately by that hit with a distressed body and appeared with a horrific face. Then the intellectual and glorious Hanuma saw her fallen down and thinking her to be woman, showed kindness. Lanka being very gloomy spoke with a flattering tone without pride these words to Hanuma the Vanara.

"O long armed one! O best among Vanaras! Get propitiated and protect me.I am defeated by your strength.Enter the auspicious city of Lanka stuck by the curse, ruled by the king of Rakshasas, roam everywhere and search for the chaste wife Seetha according to your comfort."


Can we do that with the embassy officer.Its true that they are doing their job.But sometimes god alone knows why they reject/issue a visa with out any reason....

Visitors Get the Visa!!.

Nani

Philosophy- The Banyan Tree,The Squirrel and You

Once up on a time not too long ago on the banks of the sacred river Penna was a huge but calm , tall but simple banyan tree.It was so tall that the clouds could rest on its branches.On one of its far spread stems in a beautifully built nest  lived a sparrow happily with its cute family.In a small hole of a close by palm tree lived a squirrel and its sweet little family.As the sparrow finishes meditation and flies away to fetch food every morning the little ones used to chirp him good bye.As months passed by quickly , slowly crawled a beautiful money plant across the trunk and soon reached the tree tops.Unlike the sparrow the money plant is completely dependent on the banyan tree for its food and shelter.Its a Parasite.

Every day on its way back the sparrow started bringing home a new friend, who soon would bring his family and build a nest on the big banyan tree .Soon the tree was filled with nests of all the species of birds on this planet.As days progressed, competing with each other they built nests with soft feathers the next with marbles and an other with silver pebbles and then with diamonds.The banyan tree which couldn't carry the weight anymore started leaning each day.The squirrels family on the other hand lived its own life style taught to it by its ancestors and the knowledge gained from their prayers.While eating for surviving they used to  save some nuts for tough times.

But the birds on the banyan tree still competing - some sent their kids to harvard fishing school and others force them to oxford hunting university.Soon their happiness turned in to quarrels for space/food .While one wanted to see the sunrise from its nest the other wanted a clear view of the stars at night.The little birds no more chirped good bye when the male birds fly to get food every morning.The birds no more had time  to meditate every morning either.

A friday which started like any other day soon turned dark as the black clouds filled the sky like the tides in the ocean.As the squirrel lives close to the ground it quickly sensed the smell of mud and the cyclone on its way.It immediately rushed home to his family and could survive for a week with the nuts they have saved.As the lightning split it in to half , the hurricane like winds soon destroyed the banyan tree which was in its final stages lifting it from the roots.The nests were torn in to pieces and not even a single bird survived the natures disaster.The money plant crawled on to an other banyan tree near by.The palm tree which was light and small survived.

The tree  can be compared to the human body and nests to the number of people around you.The people and the problems that come with them are not outside you but deep inside you.The more you have around you the less you have inside your-self.Like the money plant there are parasites who solely depend on you .The day you have no more to offer they quickly ignore/abandon you and move on to an other sources of survival.

Everyone is a hero in their own World/Ego.Every home is a sweet home for the one living in it and his family and kids are the best from anything else on this planet.That might be extreme humane.But don't get carried away and get lost in the race for excessive materialistic pleasures/comparisons like property,money and power.Always remember where you came from and how beautiful your childhood and life has been.Don't forget the soul/sole purpose of your existence and the one responsible for its creation or as you lean day after day you will be swept by the cyclone hiding behind the cloud of people/passion.

And the squirrel lives happily ever after....

Nani

Indian in Harlem:Inspired by my true story.....

Hope it inspires a few to face any difficulty with determination and know how fortunate they are .......

Long story short.....

It was my 3rd day in the US and T-3 days for the touch down.As I return from the SSN office…

Jan 19th 2006 Afternoon Md Shiv kumars Chamber

knock knock!!

Heah come on in Bharath ,how are things going.Ready for an interview?.There is a huge business opportunity .There is a company Equalizer group in New york which along with some major partners like coke ,jp morgan etc are planning to conduct a training program to a group of economically backward students who then will have to work on a project for Coke and will be placed .

I knew that working with out an SSN is illegal in the US.How are they gonna run my pay stub?.Even then I am Sold!!.The next day I was selected even with out an interview which is kind of fishy but all I wanted is to see my first pay stub and so…..

After a 45 min drive there was a 5 min stop over in jersey city before we cross the hudson river/tunnel.Thats where the punjabi cousins moved my baggage from jersey cab to NY/yellow cab so that they can skip the tolls.As the sun was setting i started loving NY more as we get closer.Looking at empire state building for the first time reminded me of the King Kong movie(old) and my childhood.Leaning on to the cabs window i started remembering the funny/scary words of relatives/friends when they got to know that i will be working in NY.


Dont go out in the dark...


If someone demands money(mugging) just give them everything you have...


Dont get used to burgers...


Don’t marry a American girl…


Reached the YMCA building in 135th street at 6 30 pm.


Quickly checked in to my YMCA sponsored single bed room , and formally dressed I had to meet Robert one of the managers at YMCA who then introduced me to the lab admin.Admin:-What ever you want to install, let me know and i will do over the weekend.Dont uninstall/mess with anything. I could see a dictator in him and also his job insecurity.

Day 1


As tall as i am 6 feet and 2 inches Rose started introducing me to the class and they all seemed to know each other for a while.


Jose:-Its pronounced as Hosey but i never got it right.


Dan:-From North Carolina Effected by Hurricane Katrina.


Twins:- Samaria & Erika.


Calvin:- The c++ expert and on of the big personalities in the class...


Etc.


I have asked them to call me Reddy instead of killing my Name while killing themselves trying to get it right.Except for Calvin no one else had a programming background. So i have started from Why computers? Why programming and concluded day one running a simple java program.





Food...


I finished ordering my rice cooker on Amazon and started walking towards the closest grocery store following the directions from julian the receptionist. I could see people selling audio cds and clothes on the footpath which reminded me of slums back home.As i entered the Acme super market for the first time i have felt like i am in America.Living in Edison was like living in a mini India. I have bought loads of chocolates, cookies, frozen pizzas and tons of soda cans. Spending the dollars i have earned which once was a top currency in my currency collection was fun and also a learning experience to know the different denominations both in paper and metal.


Burger re-defined at Mc Donald’s :- Unlike their branch in Bangalore ,if the bread on the top doesn't touch the bread on the bottom its a burger.Anything cheaper than a dime can go in the middle.


Mexican place...


Cheese slice and coffee..Loved them and is gonna be my standard lunch menu....


Chinese Restaurant…it was like finding a branch of heaven in hell.


Week 1
I used to hear loud shouts and screams from a room close by which naturally freaked my already scared which otherwise is a brave-heart. I don’t have a cell phone yet, so have to use the pay phone downstairs.I used to look out of the peephole , once every 30 minutes at least for a couple of hours before i go make that call which i quickly try to finish. One nice and calm evening as i try to get to the elevator i suddenly hear loud screams and can feel some one running towards me, as i turn back with my half dead face i see a bunch of youth hi-fying each other and all i could hear is giants. It took me a few minutes to take a deep breath and ask them what it is all about. First they gave me a hi-fi and then told me that NY Giants have won the game. From that day i am no more bothered about the screams as i have realized that the room next door is the TV room. But i still look out of the peephole once every one hour.





Back in the class….


It was going at the right pace while I help them they were also helping each other and very soon it turned out to be school on its own. They used to burst in to laughter when ever Catherine asks me a question because she had problems/question in every topic I teach. And I used to make fun of her with phrases like…


If Catherine can do it you can all do it.





Break for lunch….


By the time i return from my Mexican pizza place they used to bring different varieties of food ranging from burgers to pizzas, Chinese to japanese ,Caribbean to continental .Looking at Jose’s box , for a minute thought that its the Indian breakfast dosa was surprised to know that its a pan cake.


My dinner menu used to include... Rice ,pickles ,chips, onions and yogurt and my favorite dessert mom made ariselu (a south Indian sweet made of rice floor,jaggery and ghee).Sometimes at night , as i try to microwave my frozen pizza which always ends up half cooked i used to look at the empire state building. The top portion of is beautifully lighted with different colors each day(yellow on daffodils day etc).

Day 17


As i open the door i was shocked to see…..


My suitcases are missing .I don't see my clothes that i have dumped on one side of the bed and not even a single dollar on the dressing table. As i collapse on the bed i see some home made cookies and a note next to it which read Thank You.


Suit cases are in the closet, clothes on the hangers, combs and all the $$ in the drawers.


All that for helping the 62 year old maid lady fixing her grandsons laptop the day before. From that day i felt closer to home....


Free Food@YMCA every Tuesday and Thursday-----------------


They had fried chicken ,strange fruit pieces and lemon tea which i dint know until i tasted it thinking its coke. After that i used to go there every Tuesday.



Drug free school zone…week(3)


Will a.k.a Williams had a small tube in his hand which at times he used as a inhaler. It was not till he fell flat on the desk banging his head hard while every one looked at him shocked did i realize that it was not a normal inhaler but one with a drug so strong that it can make you unconscious. As i rushed to his desk preparing for the worse, he got up in pain holding his head. I took him out of the class and told him not to come back. As tears ran through his eyes he told me about his struggle as a orphan and how he walks four miles every day just for this class. He promised me that he will never again touch drugs in his life.


That evening on my way to the grocery store as I walk past the basket ball courts,I felt happy when I saw the sign which reads "Drug free school zone" (coincidence AKA fate).

Faunda often used to get home made corn cakes for all us.






Amits adventure/visit………….


Inside the building i used to walk like a king but outside i could not even go the Burger King which is 2 blocks away. All that because of Amits visit…


Amit my engineering batch mate who did his masters in jersey and a regular visitor to NY planned for a visit….


Instead of taking the subway amit planned to use his network/smartness and took the bus which stopped two blocks away. As he started walking he quickly realized that it is no time square.Standing next to trash can leaning on the brick wall was a 6 foot 7 inch black man whose face was covered with hoodie and all Amit could see was the smoke coming out as he lifted his head Amit looked straight in to eyes(you should never do that with someone whoz on drugs) which were red like the sun which was setting a few blocks away. The man quickly started walking towards amit…


With in the next minute Amit dashed in to YMCA and to my room and that was the first and last time he visited Harlem.


Day 27 Spider man revealed 

As i wake up to the cop car sirens i felt cold more than the usual and i thought the they have stopped running water through the heaters. All the rooms at YMCA had old/German style room heaters where they continuously run hot water through the pipes. As i look out of the window i see bright white light calling me towards something beautiful, something i haven't seen before. As i jump out of my bed and almost fell out of the window , Snow is everywhere. I immediately opened the window and touched the first snow flake ,may be to make sure its not a dream. I was so excited that it took me 5 minutes to get ready and to jump out in to the streets.


Even though i was scared on that day nothing on this planet could stop me from running through the Harlem streets like spider man after realizing his powers.


Friday evening...@the subway station waiting for No 3 Train


As i get my leather jacket out of the backpack i could see a cop standing right next to the ticket counter with a dunkin donuts coffee in one hand and the with the other hand on his pistol. But that doesn’t bother me any more because i know the beautiful place and the people better now....



Day 30 The twister…


I knew that they will be placed at the end of this program,but what i dint know was the stipend of 1400$ they were promised every month.Sitting at one corner of the room all i could do is to watch tears rolling out of everyone’s eyes when Rose announced that they dint get the expected funds.


Twins cry.


Shuba: walks out saying ,i know this is gonna happen.


Dan..I am sad today more than i was when Katrina hit us...


Faunda...My uncle is a attorney and i will file a case against all of you and the sponsors..

What i initially thought is fishy turned out to be a rich-mans scam...


I was mentally preparing myself to pack things and move back to jersey. But when i come back on Monday after having a quick talk with Shiv over the weekend i was surprised and delighted to see 18 members in the class.





Here is a email from Ebony after missing out a few classes…..


Hello Mr. Reddi,


I received your email on Wednesday informing me that I could continue to come to class. Rose told me that she was going to ask you if it was alright. I failed to mention to her that I was, and still sick. As you know from last Friday's meeting when you came with Rose, & Charles, when Rose informed us that we weren't getting paid, and didn't know when the money from the grants, and other sponsors were going to come in. I can't continue in a program run by a board that doesn't confide in their students that their is financial problems going on.


I still feel that someone knew that there was a problem with raising money for the program months ago. Waiting to the last minute just doesn't make sense. So with with that said I can't continue because my school loans, & other bills aren't going to wait on the possibility that we might, or might not get the monthly stipends we were promised in the very beginning. I have some jobs that I'm looking in to right now. I don't think that the time spent was wasted, but being that we're not getting compensated, I can utilize that time working. I thank you for giving me the opportunity to learn what you know as a professional java programmer.


I will continue to learn, and study what I have started with the program, by changing my major to computer technology when I go to Grad school this fall. Can you do me a favor and tell the remaining members of the class to continue to do well, keep their heads up, and that I'll me praying for all of them, but to make sure that they have a plan B, because of the uncertainty of the programs financial capabilities.


Thank you again,
Ebony


Exam (Divide and conquer)


At the end of the 2nd month Rose wanted to the cut down the number of students by half. I think she dint expect 18 students to come back to the class even after knowing that they will not be getting their stipend. I felt that they wanted to end this program as soon as possible to fill in their accounts with more $$ and I think she was also scared about Faundas uncle and his law firm.





Director at dinner: Met Elaine the director at the tuesday YMCA dinner. He likes Indians because the one who did his bypass a month back is a Indian doctor Mr.Naidu.After exchanging a few words ,he said that i am doing a great job coming so far and praises for my teaching abilities coming from a programming background. He gave me his card. I wish it was a credit or at least a debit card. But as always it is his visiting card*****.


I have reduced the number of working days/classes to 4 so that they can do some par time jobs for 3 days atleast.Though it was not going great with the students-sponsors i used to grab a lot of energy from my weekend train trips to jersey.I have to take a sub way till 34th street Penn station and then a NJTransit train and i used to enjoy every minute of it.I tried to read a book or make a short note of my experiences from that week classes. It takes a medium sized dunkin donuts coffee to wait for the bus and get to the guest house from the metro-park station.


As weeks passed by the number of students fell like the leaves in the fall.



Break for lunch


No one was moving. I remembered Ebonies words from the sponsors meeting..


"We cant continue our class while spending off our hard earned money"


With a dumb enough personal reason to celebrate i have asked them to choose a place to order food. Calvin was the first one to come up with papa johns pizza and from that week i used to order pizza, wings and soda on Thursdays.




-----------------------Baby in the class------------


Like every morning i quickly finished my cup noodles and rushed to the class .As i walk out of the elevator i heard a baby cry.On the stairs next to the lab door ….


What happened Catherine?


In her thick African accent she replied...


They told me that they will pay stipend. I have left my job .Now i dont have money to pay for daycare. The only reason i come here now is with a hope that they might pay some day and not to be expelled from the class. Feeling sad for a minute i thought of brightening up my day and that of others by telling her to go home not worrying about the grades and i will call her when the stipend is ready.





Checkout in 10 mins ...


As i return after the weekend from Edison i looked at julian in the reception who always throws a welcome back smile.But she dint smile.Not bothering much i quickly got in to the elevator and landed in front of my room.As i try to unlock my door i find that the key doesn't fit in to the lock.Tired trying i went downstairs to talk to the manager ,but he was waiting to talk to me.You can't use your room.You have not payed the rent for the last 2 months .He had a expression which i could read as - i don't know anything about the whole program.In despair i pulled out my valet and as look for my phone card i found the visiting card of Elaine the YMCA Director.I could see the light at the end of the tunnel.But looking at the way things have progressed in the last few months i was sure its from a train.As he spoke with the Italian manager ,i had a man waiting outside the door while i grab everything and call a cab.


When i told shiv what happened he has asked me not to go back on Monday and end it right there.But i could convince him that in 4 more days i will finish the course.


The next four days i travel from metropark station to harlem every day. In those four days I have made their resumes look close to that of mine.I have asked them to collect every piece of information(paper Ads,Emails etc) that they can about this program and sponsors(JP Mrogan Chase, Blackstone Entertainment to name a few) and use all the big names as references during the interviews.


Adios…


Shuba raised her hand to give me a hug ,not knowing that, i just shook her hands and she laughed at me with embarrassment. But when it was Faudas turn to say good bye she politely said "Thats not the way we do it here MR.Reddy and gave me a hug" and so did Wil and Calvin.


A month later Calvin got a job as a software developer at a investment management company up state NY.


Calvin now works as a senior software engineer at a top notch telecom company in Manhattan.


Faunda joined her uncles law practice.


Wil is pursuing his masters in computer science.


Shuba is all set to take over the lab admins job.


Things and people are not always what you think they are.No matter which country you live in Africa or America  the rich will exploit the poor to get their share before the government snatches its own.U.S gives around $25 billion in foreign aid every year.And i have heard that $60 billion is all that is needed to eradicate poverty from this planet.But do you see that happening?.I wish the students of my class will one day answer that question if not to the planet to the streets of Harlem.




Mr.Reddy